Advent Thanksgiving: Post mysteriously absent. Your brother says it was mice but you don’t believe him

You could explain the lack of expected Advent goodies in a few ways.

Dalek Cardiff Arcade















Conspiracy Theory One: Daleks ate it.

Elvis lives on Brighton beach

Conspiracy Theory Two: Was it Elvis?

Conspiracy Theory Three: Your brother ate it.
If you have siblings, think back to when your brother stole your chocolate straight out of the calendar and didn’t even care. Bah. Trip him up and hide his He-Man toys, that’ll teach him. Cry to your mum, too. If you’re lucky she’ll let you eat one of his tomorrow. Neh.

Conspiracy Theory Four: You ate it.
Were you instead an only child, used to getting what you wanted, when you wanted, crap at sharing even with yourself? Then I’m afraid your lack of chocolate is your own fault. You got greedy and ate the chocolates on the wrong day. You thought your future self could handle it. You were wrong. Suck it up.

My friend’s baby brother gave the best reason I’ve heard for eating all his chocolate in one go – he said he was trying to time travel. Nice try, that boy. When time travel is invented, I hope it really is powered by chocolate. Cadburys Flux Capacitor, any0ne?

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